Do you ever feel like the bird who flies to the feeder, only to consistently be knocked down by a bigger bird, or a squirrel? You may want to scream, “What about ME?!!” Or you may want to peck the squirrel in the cheek to show him who is REALLY boss!

Isn't he pretty?

Many of us will rationalize why it’s okay for this bigger bird to butt us out of the way. “Well, he’s a lot BLUER than me,” you may say. “That, um, makes him more hungry.”

Or we may want to rationalize why it’s okay to ruffle up our feathers and fight with all we have, inflicting as many wounds as we can while stating, “He WAS a bully, afterall.”

What if this happens time and time again?

If you find that you are emotionally, mentally, or physically drained by someone—whether it be of time, money, attention, or resources—chances are you are dealing with someone with selfish, or narcissistic, traits. This person will test you as you may want to react and send feathers flying, or you may prefer to give away all your birdseed. Neither, however, will get you where you need to be. (more…)